What is Love?

Love is as difficult to define as it is to explain, but it can ultimately be boiled down to "an intense feeling of deep affection," according to the Oxford English Dictionary.

The Many Types of Love

It's important to remember that there are many different types of love. Clinical psychologist Kristina Hallett, Ph.D., explains that research has identified two major types of interpersonal love: passionate love, which involves attraction and sexual desire (what we typically think of as romantic love), and attachment, also known as compassionate love, which can occur between caregivers and children, long-term romantic partners, and other deeply bonded pairs.

The Greeks specified the different types of love even further, identifying eight distinct kinds:

• Eros (romantic love)
• Pragma (enduring love)
• Ludus (playful love)
• Philautia (self-love)
• Storge (familiar love)
• Philia (affectionate love)
• Agape (selfless love)
• Mania (obsessive love)

Romantic Love

In the context of romantic relationships, being in love means "a strong emotional attachment that includes wanting to share your life physically and emotionally with someone," says licensed psychotherapist Babita Spinelli. It involves a desire to be generous, compassionate, loving, and caring to someone, creating a strong feeling of commitment. "When you are truly in love, the well-being and happiness of your partner is important to you," she notes.

Romantic love also has stages, with the final being wholehearted love. According to licensed marriage and family therapist Linda Carroll, M.S., LMFT, it takes years to develop wholehearted love—but it often begins with many of the signs of love we're about to get into.

What Love Isn't

Physiologically speaking, many of the sensations we associate with falling in love are actually limerence, according to licensed marriage and family therapist Holly Richmond, Ph.D., LMFT. Limerence refers to romantic infatuation, marked by feelings of obsession and fantastical longing. It's the combination of hormones, endorphins, and emotional prioritization that occur in the initial stages of a relationship, but it doesn't necessarily equate to or lead to wholehearted, long-term love. It's important to distinguish between lust and love.

Signs He Loves You

Here are 12 signs that indicate a man is in love with you or at least starting to fall:

1. He Embraces All Parts of You: To love someone is to accept all parts of them. If the man in your life has seen some of your less desirable traits and hasn't run off, that's a good sign. "He appreciates you for you and doesn't want to change you," says Spinelli.

2. He Talks About a Future with You: When someone is in love, they're going to factor you into their future. If a man is in love with you, he may mention things you can do together in the future. He may also start to say "we" or "us" all the time, making you feel more like a unit or team.

3. He's Supportive: When a man is in love with you, he wants to see you happy. He'll support your passions and goals, celebrate your wins, comfort you amid losses, and remind you of your own power.

4. He Makes an Effort to Grow Closer: A man in love will seek ways to become closer to you, whether it's spending time with you, being curious about what makes you tick, or making bids for attention. He may reorder his priorities to include you where he can.

5. He's Vulnerable with You: True intimacy involves being open and vulnerable. A man will begin revealing more intimate details about himself or showing more emotional vulnerability as he falls in love.

6. He Prioritizes You: Priority is a huge tell of someone being in love. "They're letting you know daily, if not multiple times a day, that they're thinking about you," Richmond explains.

7. He Meets You Halfway: A healthy, loving dynamic involves compromise. He's ready and willing to show up for you even when it's not convenient and makes an effort to make your life easier.

8. He Values Your Input: Whether it's asking for your advice, seeking your opinion, or listening intently when your perspectives differ, a man in love will take what you have to say into account.

9. He Gets Out of His Comfort Zone for You: People are willing to lean into discomfort when love is the objective. He might ride a roller coaster with you even though it scares him or work through toxic patterns for the sake of the relationship.

10. He Finds Your Quirks Endearing: When a man finds your strange or weird quirks adorable and accepts you unconditionally, that's a sign he's in love with you.

11. He Displays Any or All of the Love Languages: Any extensions of the five love languages (quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, gift-giving, and acts of service) are good signs that a man is in love. Look out for thoughtful actions that feel like displays of affection.

12. There Are No More Games or a Sense of "Chase": When someone really loves you, there won't be a sense of game-playing or stringing along. "When we're talking about love, we're talking about authenticity and transparency," Richmond says. "You're going to know this person is paying attention, and you won't feel like you have to read between the lines."