Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
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When someone frequently posts selfies or dominates conversations with self-praise, you might label them a narcissist. However, true narcissists have NPD, which means they genuinely believe in their superiority and expect to be recognized and treated accordingly. They often cannot understand or care about others' opinions and needs.
Nine Traits of a Narcissist
The DSM-5 outlines nine criteria for NPD, and a person needs to meet at least five to be diagnosed:
- Grandiose sense of self-importance
- Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
- Belief they are special and unique, and can only be understood by or should associate with other special or high-status people or institutions
- Need for excessive admiration
- Sense of entitlement
- Interpersonally exploitative behavior
- Lack of empathy
- Envy of others or belief that others are envious of them
- Arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes
Licensed therapist Rebecca Weiler, LMHC, describes it as selfishness at the expense of others and an inability to consider others' feelings. NPD severity varies, with some high-functioning in outpatient settings and more aggressive in inpatient settings.
People with NPD often have other mental health issues like substance use disorder and anxiety, complicating relationships. Diagnosing NPD typically requires a standard psychiatric interview by a qualified expert.
Signs of NPD in Relationships
Recognizing the signs of NPD can help provide context to your relationship:
They were charming at first
- Narcissists often start relationships with grandiosity, showering you with compliments and affection early on. This can feel like a fairytale but is often superficial.
They hog the conversation
- Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance, frequently talking about their achievements and expecting recognition.
They feed off your compliments
- Despite seeming self-confident, narcissists require constant praise and admiration to bolster their low self-esteem.
They lack empathy
- Narcissists struggle to understand or care about others' feelings, often unable to apologize or validate your emotions.
They don't have many long-term friends
- Frequent conflicts and hypersensitivity often leave narcissists with few close, long-term friendships.
They pick on you constantly
- Narcissists may tease initially, but this often escalates to mean-spirited comments intended to lower your self-esteem and boost their own.
They gaslight you
- Gaslighting involves manipulation that causes you to doubt your reality, reinforcing the narcissist's control over you.
They think they're always right and never apologize
- Narcissists see themselves as always right, making disagreements feel impossible to resolve.
When you show them you're done, they lash out
- Ending a relationship with a narcissist can provoke intense anger and attempts to hurt you, as they blame others for their problems.
Conclusion
Recognizing these traits and patterns can help you understand and navigate relationships with individuals who have NPD. If you suspect your partner has NPD, consulting a mental health professional can provide further guidance.
